anxiety · mental health · relationships

Why I deleted 100+ FaceBook Friends

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I have a friend, a dear mentor, whose prayers and tutelage have given me two great mottos to live by. They are the reason why I deleted 100+ FaceBook friends.

Why I Deleted 100+ FaceBook Friends

Save the drama for your mama

FaceBook is full of drama. No matter what is posted, someone will find fault. Whether a person posts too many political or social status beliefs, or too many pics of their adorable baby full of happy rolls and grins. I have seen battles over things as simple as whether a person eats out or buys too many of one brand of clothes. It doesn’t matter what a person posts, the fact is …

People will fight over anything on social media. Literally, anything.

Who cares if a company calls their large a small or small a medium… Who cares if Arby’s doesn’t put enough cheese on their ham and cheese, just ask for extra cheese. GOOD GRIEF.

So, seriously, save the drama for your mama. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

 

I know I’ll get drama for this – I post my fair share of stuff, but I also don’t see a reason to get into arguments over whether my onion rings from a fast food restaurant have real onion or minced onion.

Raising children is not an easy task and there are days that I post that math is giving us fits, or behavior is making me nuts. I also post a lot of pics of my kids, they are AMAZING, ADORABLE, DARN NEAR PERFECT little beings! I have earned more drama over posting too much about my perfect kids than posting about challenging behavior and math days. I’m good with that.

this, too, shall pass     Since I have my own drama issues, let me share a few things…

A few weeks ago, I was sure Iwas having a heart attack – every symptom for a woman with a heart attack –   happening right here, in my house. I used all of my anxiety reducing techniques, but nothing helped. I spent 6-8 hours in the ER, I was being monitored, but reassured that I was not having a heart attack. Instead, I was having a severe panic attack.

Since that day, despite the great progress we are making with our challenging behaviors, I have had daily panic attacks. My dr suggested I increase my rescue anxiety medicine, but it has not made the impact we had hoped for.

 

Yesterday, I saw a new family doctor, someone who seems to really understand the difference between ‘my kid doesn’t do his chores’ stress and ‘I have children with these diagnoses and these behaviors’ kind of stress. She was very compassionate, very concerned about the type and amount of stress that our family is enduring at the moment.

This, too, shall pass …

But, in the mean time…

In addition to changing my anxiety medication, which will take time to reach the ideal level of benefit, she challenged me. She asked me to list the areas of my life where I spend time, and where I can make changes without changing or compromising my belief system.

Some things I listed were obvious…

  • marriage
  • parenting
  • homeschool
  • church commitments

Some extra things I listed…

  • Facebook
  • Private messages
  • Friendships – both healthy and not so healthy

God had already been nudging me to reconsider how FaceBook affects me on a daily basis. Facebook should not be a place that increases my anxiety, it should be a place where I can catch up with friends, laugh, see who I can pray for, and then get to the next part of my day. Instead, FaceBook has created more drama for my life. I found myself getting frustrated by the constant bickering, belittling of one another, etc.

It comes down to what we should all have learned by the age of 5, or at least 15 …

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all

 

Life will not always be about happy, healthy interactions with other people. I work to teach my children, every single day, that relationships in life will have bumps and bruises. I also work diligently to help them learn to work through those bumps and bruises in a Christ-like manner.

However, I also want my children to know that boundaries are not only ok, but they are necessary. In order to teach that, I must model it.

Since the first group on my list is priority, I have to really evaluate the second group. Therefore, I am working to meet myself (and my doctor) in the middle – eliminate stress where I can – draw boundaries – make changes.

And that is why I deleted 100+ FaceBook friends….

When you have had to evaluate what contributes to your stress, what kind of changes have you made? How did you decide what changes to make?

2 thoughts on “Why I deleted 100+ FaceBook Friends

  1. You’re absolutely right about Facebook. For me, it started as a joke from watching Jimmy Kimmel Live. Each year on November 17th Jimmy hosts National Unfriend Day. You’re supposed to unfriend either the people you haven’t spoken to in the last year or the people you don’t actually know. I participate every year and now I’m down to just over 100 friends. My newsfeed only contains positivity from spiritual sources and things to make me laugh. I use Facebook to promote my books, couseling ministry and keep in touch with close friends and family. With what we go through as parents, it’s easy to get lost in the phone. I’d rather get caught up in encouragement than drama.

  2. Love this! I have slowly been going through my friends list as well. I need to get that excess stress out of my life! 🙂

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