I stuck my hands in the hot, soapy dishwater and felt the sting where the skin was broken. I pulled them out and leaned my arms against the sink, burying my head in my hands to cry, but I felt the tenderness and pain of the bruises…the tears wouldn’t even flow.
The bruises weren’t skin deep, they were heart and soul deep. They were years of an aching mama’s heart begging for answers, begging for the satan’s demons to leave her baby boy. The bruises were from prayer after prayer, after what felt like another unanswered prayer.
Was God’s message to me years ago just my imagination?
Was it my hopeful spirit, my wanting to hear a promise from God that my son would be okay in the end?
Four years ago, this blog came as a ‘deal’ of sorts between God and me. I told him that if I had to go through this life, then I wanted to be able to help other parents, let them know they are not walking this road alone.
Being the parent of a child with special needs can be a long, lonely road.
We are the parents who cannot talk about real life.
We say, ‘We’re good’, instead of, ‘Last night was pure hell and I have no idea how we got here on time today!’
We say, ‘The kids are playing parade…’, but what we really mean is, ‘One kid is obsessing over parades and in true fashion, is demanding the others play along.’
We say, ‘I was playing with the cat and she got me’, but what we really mean is, ‘I had to restrain my raging son, and he scratched me.’
We say, ‘I’m tired’, but what we really mean is, ‘I am weary.’
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.
We are weary, tired, overwhelmed, and burdened. We are not alone, though.
We are never alone, God is our stronghold, our strength. God loves us and knows our needs.
God made these children and loves them more than we do.
Just let that sink in a minute…
God loves that child more than you do.
MORE THAN YOU DO …
God loves us and loves our children.
We are not alone, you are not alone, I am not alone. We have each other, we have to come together to lift one another.
We have to love each other, and remind one another that God loves us and loves our children… MORE THAN WE DO.