Saturday morning we got up way too early, got everyone dressed, and headed out the door. Pouty had karate at 9 and D had his first belt test at 10am. We really had no idea what to expect, so the anxiety was *H*I*G*H*.
Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of
God you may receive what is promised.
D was lashing out at everyone, he was sure we would be late, someone would say something and he would mess up during the test, he wouldn’t have had enough practice, and, or, but… It started rough, but after we got some food in him he started to calm down. We were still the first ones to the dojo, even before Pouty’s instructor, but it helped him to calm down and be sure that he was ready.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths,
but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear.
Let me tell you, when he is lashing out at everyone it is hard to keep control of my tongue. By nature, I am quick to snap back and I have said time and time again, the sin I battle most is my tongue. When he is fussing at everyone for something no one has done, it is all I can do to continue to build him up rather than saying, “Yep, you’re right! We are going to do something to intentionally make you fail your test. We’re all set to do that!”
Honestly, sometimes I do fall into that trap, but then I feel horrible. I can’t take those words back. Those words have sunk into his tender heart and they are there forever. On the outside, he doesn’t appear tender, but on the inside he is breaking because of whatever words I’ve used and it is my fault he feels broken at that moment.
D is my heart, as hard as it can be to live with him, he is such an amazing kid. He is so special, sensitive, tender hearted, and wonderful. God has made him fearfully and wonderfully (Psalms 139: 13-14) just as He has everyone else. His autism is part of him, part of who God made him. No, I don’t understand why we have to deal with the difficult times, the times when the autism is erupting from him like lava from a volcano, but God has a purpose for him and for that. I don’t have to like it, sometimes I even hate autism, but I do love him for who he is and I thank God for giving me the bad times (although I sometimes wish they weren’t so bad) because it does make the good times that much sweeter!
221. the extra dose of patience God gives me in some of the really hard times
222. D remembering to hold himself together in those same really hard times
223. excellent instructors at D & Pouty’s dojo (karate school)
224. the time with the kids at the dojo
225. the smiles on the faces of all the kids and their parents as they earned their next belt
226. an excellent autism specialist at the school district who gets D
227. the excitement I am seeing in D as he transitions back to public school
228. D having great days at school during this transition
229. quiet moments while the kids have played well together
230. excitement building for my conference next weekend
231. roommates and travel partner that will cut expenses
232. a very generous anonymous sponsor that purchased my ticket for the conference
233. Marblesoft Software for also helping send me to the conference
234. social media to keep up with friends and family during the busy times
235. pretzels…I love pretzels
236. Curious George because he reminds me that my kids’ curiosity could be worse LOL
237. Aunt Becky for keeping my little ones while I’m at the conference
238. Josh, my brother, for coming down to stay with D while I’m gone
239. comfy new pajamas for my conference
240. a pair of crocs flip flops I’ve wanted for years, but never would buy – on super sale