autism · christianity · God's Promises · Mustard Seed Planting

Mom’s Mustard Seed: Trusting God

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Mustard Seeds

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. 
Psalms 125:1

 i love you mommy from david

I have to say, the statement above made me smile, a LOT! I walked away right after posting the verse and came back to him sitting in my seat. He said, “I read what you wrote.” I said, “okay…” He said, “Why did you write that (pointing to what he wrote)?” I grinned and said, “I love you too!” 

We have had a long, hard several years. D has never been an easy child (well, not since he started walking/talking. He was an easy baby.) We knew by the age of 2 that something was going on and by 3 I was saying he was on the autism spectrum. Other people thought I was crazy, he was verbal, he was playing at the playground, he was smart. Oh, but he was also very rigid, very predictable, yet totally unpredictable. He was typical of the non-neurotypical child on the autism spectrum in nearly every way. I knew it. 

As time began to pass, things became more difficult, but also more obvious. We had to make difficult decisions, decisions that I never wanted, nor thought I’d have to make as a parent. We had to place D in a residential treatment center. My heart was shattered, I knew that God was with me, I knew that God would take care of us and protect my baby boy, but I was also scared. I was also asking God, “Why? Why can’t you deliver my baby boy from the demons the way Jesus did? Why do my children have to experience this?” 

I got past questioning God the way Job did. I knew I wasn’t supposed to, but I also know that God is big enough to handle my questions like I do when my children ask me difficult questions. I know He was listening while he held me in his arms the way I do my children. I also knew that God knows, when all is said and done, I trust in Him. I trust in His plan for my life and the lives of my children and husband. 

Trusting in God, and teaching my children verses that will help remind them to trust God’s plans for their lives is what God called me to do as their mother. The trials we experience as parents may be heartbreaking and difficult, but I am so grateful for God’s word to guide me as I teach them.

8 thoughts on “Mom’s Mustard Seed: Trusting God

  1. I have felt your pain and emotions. One of my sons is on the autism spectrum – asperger's. He lost all speech at 2 and couldn't even stack 2 blocks. Now, he is a high school senior and has received his acceptance letter to Auburn University. Continue to believe in God and His promises. Praying for you and your beautiful family!

    I'm your newest follower! I love finding other Christians on the web! Merry Christmas! ~ Ellen

  2. Oh, how I want and need to stop questioning…He's speaking tome through your post tonight! Thank you for sharing…I was truly meant to read this!!! Sending up prayers for you and all families who have loved ones/children especially….who go through such difficult trials!!!

  3. God's word will always help us see what He wants for us! We have had a hard time with our boy #3 – more than anyone knows, but I see God working in Him and working in me – He is healing our baby and growing our family. God bless you & keep you strong!

  4. I am grateful for His Word to guide me too. Thank you for sharing your story and for reminding me that He's got it all covered and will guide us every step!

  5. My spouse and I stumbled over here from a different website and thought I may as well check things out.
    I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to looking at your web page yet again.

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