Beautiful Mamas that I have come to know, and love,
Beautiful Mamas who are not with their children this eve of the birthday of Christ, our Lord and Savior, because your children are in residential treatment centers or acute psychiatric hospitals; Beautiful Mamas who are hurting because your children are away from you for their own safety, as well as the safety of those around them is at risk – You, Beautiful Mamas, my heart has been heavy for you.
This time last year, I was at the point of realizing that D needed much more than we could give him. He was completely unstable, he was aggressive and dangerous. I was, despite the obvious, in denial that D needed to be placed in a residential treatment center. I was trying to come to terms with it and wrap my head around the fact that I simply could not give my son, my pride and joy, the kind of life that he needed, but it was so. He had to be placed in a residential treatment center.
The hardest day for me, during D’s time away was Easter. Family was around me, spending time together, taking pictures, having a great time. I, on the other hand, felt like I was in a fog. I wondered why I was taking pictures as a family without D. How could it be a family picture when my son was 8 hours away. I felt like I was living a lie, like I was saying look at my happy little family, when really I was miserable and even today looking at the pictures makes me feel sad and very, very wrong.
Before, during, and after the process of placing D in a residential treatment center, I spent a lot of time begging God for answers. When we made the placement, I had made a deal with God (yes, I know we’re not supposed to do that).
God, if I have to go through this, please let me help others who are going through it as well.
I had no idea how much He would allow me to do that. I had no idea that I would meet some of the most beautiful mamas I know and that I would have the privilege of praying for them and hopefully being able to support them through their difficult journeys.
But thus says the Lord:
“Even the captives of the mighty shall be taken away,
and the prey of the terrible shall be delivered;
for I will contend with him who contends with you,
and I will save your children.”
As I have traveled this journey, I have realized that Satan is attacking us. Satan hates that we are trying to provide our children with good, stable, loving, God fearing homes. I have noticed that just when I think things are getting better, Satan will attack my family in another way, generally through my children. Satan especially attacks our family through D. He is, after all, our most vulnerable and our easiest target.
Tonight is fading quickly and tomorrow, I will be celebrating Christ’s birth with my family. I am grateful that my family is back together, but I can’t help but keep those who are not complete in my prayers and close to my heart. God has put all of my beautiful mama friends on my heart and I am continuing to pray for all of you.
No matter the time of day or night, if you need a friend, please call or email me. You are all so special to me, God brought us together so that we can support one another. Please, know that I am here to support you, especially on a day so difficult as Christmas.
Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you in prayer tonight that you may show my beautiful mama friends a peace and comfort that only you can. Dear God, please hold them close on this difficult day without their child. Give them the comfort of knowing that you are at work in their and their children’s lives so that they may know you, your love, and your peace always. Dear God, your Word says that you will save our children. I praise you, God, and thank you for working to save all of our children from the enemy, Satan. In your most precious gift, Jesus Christ’s name, Amen.