The quote, “It takes a village to raise a child” is an old African Proverb. In many cultures, the village does watch over a child. In our country, unfortunately, many times the village does not work as well together.
The problems in the village can be due to parents who want to be the only ones who ever speak to their children about behavior. It can be that the members of the social group will not constructively correct or assist the child in problems. In some cases, the school system is not willing to work for the benefit of the child. Sometimes, it is a combination of all of the above or the simple fact that no one can really determine how to help the child.
I truly have no idea where our situation lies. Am I being too overprotective? Am I in denial about an issue? Is the school avoiding a responsibility to effectively teach D? Is his intelligence hindering his ability to benefit from some other supports that would make him truly successful? Are we all working against, instead of with one another for his benefit? Really, all of that said, does it matter where our situation is? I don’t know …
What I do know is, we have a situation. D has intense school anxiety. I have no idea where the true root of the issue comes from. He has said to us and his therapist that he is exhausted in the mornings and he is afraid if he goes to school that tired he will get in trouble. He is terrified of getting in trouble at school. Even a minor infraction will set him into a tailspin of school anxiety and refusal.
I have to find a way to address this issue. We have tried the well meaning suggestions of, “Just put him in the car and force him to go.” We have tried punishments, incentives, therapy sessions just to deal with this, and … and … and … Frankly, no one seems to know what to do to get him back to school. So, now we are looking at alternatives to public education.
Yes, we are looking at homeschooling. Yes, I am looking at the possibility of homeschooling this child who makes me insane some days. I know, you all probably think I have officially crossed the line and headed directly into the “certifiably insane” category. Maybe I am, but I have to do whatever it takes to make life easier and more peaceful for my family, while making sure that D is getting a quality education. I have a master’s in special education and am his mother. Why shouldn’t I be able to provide him with a quality education?
We have not made any final decisions, we are just tossing around the ideas. I have done a lot of praying … a LOT of praying. I have begged God to tell me not to do this and he has shown me the story of Jonah, over and over. I have a friend who has supported me and prayed with me about this. She has given me so many pointers and encouraged me to make a decision based on what God wants, not on what I think or she thinks is best. The more I have said no, the more God has said yes.
Please pray for our family as we make our final decisions based on this. We are considering a few different home school options, as well as waiting for the school system to get the final reports written for D’s evaluation to see where they will or will not help us.