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Whose Line Is It Anyway? is one of those shows that when nothing else is on, I’ll watch it. I laugh every time I watch, yet it isn’t something I generally want to watch. So today, I was thinking about the show and how in some ways, it is like our family therapy sessions.
On the show, there was a game called, “Questions Only”. During that part of the show, the contestants can only ask questions during their dialog. A lot of times our family session is like this.
Therapist: D, do you want to tell your parents what we were talking about earlier?
D: I don’t know, what were we talking about?
Therapist: You don’t remember?
Me: D, what were you talking about with Ms. Therapist?
And so it goes …
Today, the therapist and D called to ask a question. D and I were able to talk for a few minutes and it turned in to a great impromptu family therapy session. Questions and all.
I told D that I love him, he is my heart, my soul, my world. I told him that no matter what happens, he is always my little boy, I always love him, and I am always proud of him, especially when he tries to do his best. Then I asked, “Did you know that?”
We started a series of questions that led us from him saying he didn’t know to an excellent improvisational therapy lesson.
The therapist handed D a pair of sunshades. She asked him to look through those sunshades and identify the color of objects around the office. After he identified several things, she asked him to take the shades off and identify the colors of those same objects. He identified both the skewed colors from the shades and the correct colors.
The therapist went on to explain that sometimes our perception is skewed based on certain things around us, just like the shades skewed his perception of the colors of those objects. We explained that his perception of a situation, such as being in a hold or being mean to the girls, might be skewing his perception of reality. We explained that because he perceives these as being “bad” and perceives love as being based on “good or bad”, he might be letting that interfere with his ability to truly believe and accept that we love him unconditionally.
I was very impressed with the therapist taking the opportunity to jump in and turn our conversation into a “teachable moment”.
More than that, I was proud of D for participating in the lesson, and working to understand what we were trying to say. I was convinced this morning that we got it across to him and that he understood, but then I talked to him tonight…
He’d had a rough afternoon with a tantrum. He told me what happened and I expressed my disappointment. He started crying because I was disappointed and honestly, I think that is the first time that my disappointment made an impact on him. It was probably the first time that he showed emotion based on my disappointment for something he had done. However, when he calmed down, I said, “D, I’m not angry, I’m disappointed, but I still love you. I love you just as much now as I did before you did that. You know that, right?” He said, “Yes ma’am and I love you too, Mommy.”
Somehow, in that moment, I knew that he truly understood this morning’s lesson.
On the show, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, the points of the performers don’t matter. The winner is based on obscurity and chosen by Drew Carey.
Today, D is the winner. He has all of the points, there is no obscurity. He understood the lesson and showed me that he did during our phone call.
I love my son. He is my heart and soul, he is my world. He is so much to be proud of!