asd · aspergers · autism · christianity · God's Promises · loving · Parenting · PRTF · residential placement · RTC

Green & Brown Female Sheep

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When we were driving D to his new school (RTC/PRTF), we did a lot of talking. I wanted him to know that no matter what, I am his Mama and I will always be here to protect him. I wanted him to know that no matter what, he needs to let me know any time something happens – good, bad, indifferent. He had to know that he was my only source of information because he is my son and I would trust him. On a side note, I have always trusted him. Generally, he is honest to a fault. I wanted him to know that I would trust whatever he tells me. It’s the things he might not tell that I was more worried about. 
In addition, I also wanted him to know that I understand the environment is one where he would also have to establish his place in the pecking order and be cool. Therefore, we discussed ways that he could say that he loves us when we talk. With my mom’s help, we came up with the perfect little saying. 
Green and brown female sheep = olive ewe = I love you.

Letting him use green and brown female sheep gave him a code and let him be cool. 
Since he has been there, though, he has used it maybe 3 times. Generally, I would tell D that I love him and he would say, “I love you too, Mommy.” Oh how I love those words. Those words are so amazing and spectacular. 
What’s better than hearing those words? Hearing my beautiful son say, “I love you, Mommy” FIRST!

For the first time, I think ever, D told me last week that he loves me – FIRST! FIRST, I tell you, FIRST!!

The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. Psalms 23:1

A shepherd will leave a flock of sheep to retrieve one who has wandered away. He will put a special ointment on the head of a sheep that repels flies. The sheep is supposed to be the dumbest animal and the shepherd is there to protect it from predators and other things that can jeopardize its well being. The shepherd cares for the sheep’s every need.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Psalms 23:2-5
God loves us, protects us, and cares for us the way a shepherd does his sheep. This is also the way that a mother should love, protect, and care for her child. 
This is what I wanted D to know when we took him to his placement. I wanted him to know that I love him the way that God loves us, the way that a shepherd loves his sheep. I wanted him to know that I would do everything in my power to protect him and care for him, despite the distance between us. He is, and always will be, my baby boy. He is my love, my heart, my soul. 

Surely your goodness and love will follow me 

all the days of my life, 

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

 forever. Psalms 23:6

Just as a shepherd loves his sheep; Just as God’s love is forever and unconditional; so is my love for my beautiful son. Just as a shepherd would never leave his sheep; Just as God will forever be with us, even in the darkest of times; I am here for my beautiful son. 
Green & Brown Female Sheep, My Sweet D. Green & Brown Female Sheep! 





3 thoughts on “Green & Brown Female Sheep

  1. There are no better words to hear from your precious son! And when they say it first? That is the best gift we can receive! The "I love you" balances the heaviest of loads. ((Hugs))

  2. Thanks, Karen! You're right, it does balance even the heaviest loads! I just talked to his therapist (who has been out for 2wks due to a death in the family) and got to tell her that he has been telling me first. She was as excited as I am by it! 🙂 Ahhh he melts me! 🙂

  3. That "I love you" is just as good as the first time you realized they recognized you, reached for you or only wanted to be held by you. It is confirmation that it is an internal emotion, not just a reaction.

    Isn't it marvelous how God sends us those messages just when we most need them.

    For me, I have to send some "knee-mails" to God above for all of the blessings he gives, even those we fail to see. mjb

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