This is a letter to D’s birthmother. I have changed her name.
As a small child, I always thought I would have 5 children. I thought that I would have biological children, but that I would also adopt. I wanted to adopt because I knew that for a myriad of reasons, there will always be children who are unable to stay with their biological families. I wanted to show those children unconditional love, no matter the circumstances.
When I got married, the next logical step was to try and have a baby. After a couple of years trying and a doctor telling me that I might not get pregnant, we decided to investigate the world of adoption. The cost and process were both daunting, but we knew what we wanted – a child. Mae, it never mattered whether the child was white, black, girl, boy, special needs, or not. We wanted a child.
After researching, we found the perfect agency to work with and shortly thereafter, we learned that you had also found that agency. We learned that you were planning to place your baby for adoption and that after learning of us, would like us to adopt your baby. Our lives quickly became a whirlwind of preparing for a precious baby, while yours was a life of carrying that beautiful baby.
Every year as Mother’s Day approaches, I think of you. I think of all that you did for that beautiful baby. You chose to carry him and give him life. I also think of what you did for me. You gave me a reason to celebrate Mother’s Day, as a Mother. I don’t know and will never know all of the details surrounding your situation, but I do know one thing. You loved that beautiful baby boy enough to give him a life with a family who loves him more than life itself. You loved that beautiful baby boy enough to give him life. Mae, I assure you, this little boy that calls me Mommy will always know that you love him and that you made the choices you did out of that love.
As Mother’s Day approaches this year, I want you to know, like every other year, that I cherish this beautiful boy in a way that can never be explained. He is my heart, my soul, my baby. While things are difficult with him right now, I have faith that God is in control and has been since the beginning. I have faith that God will always be in control of his life and will forever care for him. I pray, that I am bringing him up in a Christian home that will always be reflected in his life, the way that I believe you wanted. You did, after all choose a Christian adoption agency when you chose adoption.
With this said, please allow me to tell you a few things about him.
This beautiful little boy is intelligent beyond belief. When he starts to wonder about something, he first comes to ask Mommy or Daddy if we know the answers. Should our answer be, “I don’t know.” He will immediately go to the computer. He scours the internet for all of the answers and then, often, will write a book or make some type of project to show what he learned. Why? Simply because. At one point, he wanted to know why the Titanic sank. Since Daddy was at work and I was clueless, he searched the internet and took notes for hours, then he sat to draw pictures and write the story of the Titanic with the notes he’d taken.
This beautiful little boy has a methodical, yet creative mind. Everything in his world must have a logical method. Once he has wrapped his mind around the logic and method, he can use the information for creativity. He will research how to make something for hours or days. After his research is complete, he will find all of the materials (there have been late night runs for tape, glue, and cardboard boxes) and begin to build. He has built entire high schools from cardboard boxes. He has drawn, colored, and cut out entire marching bands. When he finishes, he studies the marching band shows from his favorite schools on YouTube and uses his paper marchers to recreate the show on his football field area rug.
This beautiful little boy is funny. He has a sense of humor that can make me laugh uncontrollably. He usually doesn’t realize he is even being funny. He does, however, say things intentionally to be funny and they are. He loves to make his brother, sisters, and others laugh. Hearing others laugh brings out the most amazing little laugh you can imagine. It’s a laugh that I praise God for when I get to hear it.
This beautiful little boy is sensitive. He puts on the tough guy costume every morning. He wants everyone to think he is tough and nothing bothers him. However, he is so sensitive. He is scared that one is mad at him simply because they are disappointed. He wants to know that those around him are giving him constant approval. He expects constant verbal affirmation that he is doing well and if something happens and he does not receive that affirmation, he becomes heartbroken. On the other hand, giving him unexpected praise can light his beautiful face in a way that lights up the world around him.
This beautiful little boy is perfect. He is everything that I ever expected in a son and then some. While things are not always easy because he does have special needs, I praise God that I am blessed enough to be able to raise him.
Dearest Mae, on this Mother’s Day, I am wishing you a beautiful Mother’s Day. I am also sending you thanks and praising God that you chose our family to raise him. Nearly 10 years ago, Mae, you chose our family to raise the little boy who was first your son. Thank you.
One Blessed Mommy