The great thing about having a blog is that I can write whatever is on my heart. The ironic thing is that I often sit down to write one thing, but something else hits me and I know that’s what I’m supposed to say. Tonight is one of those. I had something all worked out in my head, but then God said, “It’s time.” So, I have decided to share something with you.
My husband is my best friend. He is the most amazing father any children could have. He loves his children the way a daddy should. He knows what he wants for them, he knows what he expects of them, and he would give anything to them if he could. He is also the most amazing husband I could ever dream of. He loves me, he does for me, and he would do anything else that I could ever dream of if he could. He is the perfect husband and daddy for us.
However, we have had our ups and downs. As the parents of a child with special needs, there are a lot more things to find animosity over in our relationship. We are at a much greater risk for difficulty in our marriage. In fact, there have been reports stating the divorce rate is as high as 85-90% for parents with children who have autism (Disaboom, n.d.). Our son has asperger’s, a disorder on the autism spectrum. That puts us at a huge risk for divorce and there are times that it has looked good. Please understand, I have always loved my wonderful husband, I have never wanted a divorce, but there are times that it seemed like the easy way out and sometimes, I want the easy way out. Sometimes, I want something to be easy.
As I have met more parents who have children with autism or who have children somewhere on the autism spectrum; as I have met more parents with children with disabilities, I have met more parents who have significant difficulty in their marriages. The more I talk to or pray for these parents, the more God has been telling me to do something else. The more I’ve told him no, the more he has put it on my heart. The more he has put it on my heart, the faster I have run the other way. I have put my fingers in my ears, hidden in the closet, and said, “I’mmmm noooot liiiiissssstttteeeeennniiinnnngggg!!!!!”
I never wanted to go to Ninevah, God, but the belly of the whale doesn’t sound so great either. I wanted to stay right here in my quiet little house with my quiet (obnoxious) little children, and live in my perfectly happy (dysfunctional) and blissful (crazy) ignorance. I really can’t understand why God doesn’t see I have my hands full right here, but He never gives us more than we can handle, right? Yeah, ok, I get that, so here I am … I am heading to Ninevah.
After much prayer, much begging God not to send me to Ninevah, here I am. I believe God has it, in His divine plans, for me to work with parents of children with disabilities. More specifically, parents who are struggling in their relationship with each other, parents who are struggling in their marriage, parents who love each other, love their children, but just do not know how to make it work. I believe God wants me to help them. I have no clue how God wants me to help them, yet, but I believe He has me in mind to help them and frankly, I’m a little (lot) skeered! I am so grateful to know that God will be right here with me and He will help me through. “Where God guides, He provides.”
I ask you all to join me in prayer. Join me in praying for God’s divine guidance and wisdom as I embark on this. I will take it slow, I will be doing a lot more praying and a lot of research. I want it to be exactly as God would have it. I want it to be a ministry that is pleasing to Him. I want it to be my chance to share His love, while also sharing my love with people who are struggling and need help to save their marriage and family. I want this to be OF God, as well as FOR God.
Thank you for your prayers.